1) Conveying messages or information clearly
2) Receiving the information or messages with minimal distortion
From here, we explored the process and models of communications, which consists of the following.
1) A source of information
2) Encoding (or packaging of the information)
3) Channel (method of delivery of the packaged information)
4) Decoding (the “un-packaging “ of the information)
5) Receiver/Audience (the target person/group at the end of the process)
Each of these 5 has its own process in which the person delivering the message has to account for. Any breakdown in between might lead to a failure in either of the 2 steps of effective communication.
The subsequent lesson covered listening, telling and questioning skills as well as interpreting non-verbal signals. From a book I read some time back, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, there was a Habit “Seek first to understand, and then to be understood”. Stating that we have 2 ears and 1 mouth, by nature we are supposed to listen more than we talk.
7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey
The undoubted outcome of failing to listen is lack of understanding. Left unchecked, it could escalate to a misunderstanding. A simple story as follows illustrates this:
I went on a scuba diving trip recently in July, and it was from Monday to Thursday. I departed by myself on Monday but since I knew I would be very tired after the trip, I told my dad to fetch me home when I return from the trip on Thursday. “Dad, pick me up at 10 on Thursday!” I shouted as I left the house. When I got back on Thursday evening, I waited at the SRC carpark but my dad was nowhere in sight. At 10.15, I called him, “Dad where are you?” “Where are YOU? You told me to fetch you at 10 so I was at the carpark at 10am!” he said in an exasperated tone. “Dad, I just got back. Didn’t I say I’ll be back at night?”
Well, simple enough. A misunderstanding occurred. So have you encountered something similar?
The undoubted outcome of failing to listen is lack of understanding. Left unchecked, it could escalate to a misunderstanding. A simple story as follows illustrates this:
I went on a scuba diving trip recently in July, and it was from Monday to Thursday. I departed by myself on Monday but since I knew I would be very tired after the trip, I told my dad to fetch me home when I return from the trip on Thursday. “Dad, pick me up at 10 on Thursday!” I shouted as I left the house. When I got back on Thursday evening, I waited at the SRC carpark but my dad was nowhere in sight. At 10.15, I called him, “Dad where are you?” “Where are YOU? You told me to fetch you at 10 so I was at the carpark at 10am!” he said in an exasperated tone. “Dad, I just got back. Didn’t I say I’ll be back at night?”
Well, simple enough. A misunderstanding occurred. So have you encountered something similar?
Hi Khalis! This is a good example of miscommunication, and I think that both you and your dad are responsible for it. =]
ReplyDeleteFirstly, you told your dad to pick you up at 10 without saying whether it should be at night or in the morning. This is what we usually do, we always assume that the other party knows what we are thinking, which usually is not the case. Hence your example has highlighted that we should always convey our message clearly to avoid misinterpretation.
Secondly, on your dad's part, there are two possible reasons that leads to the miscommunication. The first reason might be that he jumps into conclusion too early without listening carefully to what you have to say. This happens because the speed of listening and thinking is usually faster than the speed of talking. Even when you have not finished talking, your dad had already form an idea in his mind (that is to fetch you at 10am), and tend to ignore the rest of your speech. Hence although you did not tell him whether it should be am/pm, he would not have realised. The second reason might be that he did realize that you did not tell him whether it should be am or pm, but he did not seek clarification from you and just assumed that you meant am. Therefore your example teaches us that we should always seek clarifications form the speaker when in doubts!
Good post!!
Hello Khalis!
ReplyDeleteThat situation is so familiar. This happens to me too when I ask my father to pick me up in school. Both of us keep using the phrase "that slope", assuming both of us know which slope it was. Well, we cannot blame on us not listening well, but the clarity of our messages. Similar to you, I did not specify the particular slope.
Therefore, we know that the outcome of such horrible communication is annoyance and unhappiness. Effective communication should be able to eliminate such similar situation in future.
:)
Hi Khalis. A clear and concise summary of the first week lecture. And appreciate the recommendation for the book. I am going to look for it.
ReplyDeleteFor your miscommunication case, it is very relevant and I guess it is a common incident. As 'petpet' and Duei said, we tend to assume that the other party think in the same way as we think. This is mainly because we speak in a more rapid pace. As we convey our thought rapidly, we tend to miss the important details which are necessary for a complete understanding on the other party.
Well, after this module, we are more aware of this tendecies. And thus we could avoid such incident to take place again and be a better communicator.
Thanks everyone for taking time to read and post on my blog. (=
ReplyDeleteLeng Duei: I guess I learnt it the hard way. But I readily agree with both perspectives on what his assumptions might be. So in future, I believe when I need him to fetch me, I will clearly state the time as well as am or pm. (=
Petrina: Haha! It did slip my mind that locations can also be subjected to misunderstandings! That is something new I've learnt today. I guess I have never experienced what you did.
Arisga: I have the book. I could show it to you during class, especially the highly relevent portions. Oh and I do agree with you this module opens us up to certain blindspots we used to take for granted! Sometimes being slow and attentive is necessary to avoid misunderstandings.
Po-yu: Assumptions can be very deadly, especially if it involves non-verbal communication. I think a very clear example will be during driving, especially when turning at junctions. An oncoming car might not slow down and we can never assume the driver will stop according to the traffic light. Has happened to me countless times before (driver beating amber or even red light).
Great discussion, everyone!
ReplyDelete