Blog post #2

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict


I seem to have a super-hate to love relationship with my dad. The following scenario I’ll be sharing happened yesterday, revolving around the Dinner and Dance 2010 for Science Faculty.

Prior to the event, I had a long Saturday. It began in the morning, at 9am, with a soccer match. The Science Inter-Faculty Games team (IFG) had a friendly match with the team from King Edward VII Hall. I played as the goalkeeper for two-thirds of the match for the Science IFG team. It was a close game, as we narrowly lost 1-2. Despite making a few decent saves, I was largely to blame for a goal we conceded. My morale was low.

In the afternoon when I got home, my mum wanted me to run an errand on behalf of my dad who was out working. I was tasked to buy food for my grandpa to break his fast as well as some groceries such as fruits and packet drinks. Despite not having fully prepared my attire for the D&D, I agreed. A small part of me was hoping that my small intention for doing this would be fulfilled.

I reached home at 5.40pm after settling the grocery shopping for my grandpa. My dad was back from work and doing his prayers. I greeted him and I went to get ready. Once dressed, I approached him.

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“Dad, can I use the car? The dinner will probably end around 11pm. I’m afraid I might miss the last train should it end later”, I asked politely.

He curtly replied, “No need lah, it’s a Saturday evening after all. You’ll get frustrated at not being able to find a parking lot. No, furthermore we might want to use it at night.”

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I kept my head up, walked out of his room and left the house without saying another word.

I guess there is no win-win solution in this scenario. My interpretation for his response was, “I can’t find a parking lot in town area on a Saturday evening as it’s too crowded. What makes you think you can?” I was utterly disappointed, but I did not let it ruin the mood for the D&D once I’ve met the rest of my friends who were sitting at the same table.

He might have had a bad day at work while teaching his students, but if that was the case, I probably was a victim of his frustration. He probably thinks driving the car to such an event has little significance. I really was on the verge of writing a “bad news” letter to him but I doubt it can change the outcome of future instances. I comforted myself by telling myself these are such tests we undergo during the holy fasting month. Stay strong and overcome it as at the end of the day, it contributes to my emotional growth and self-honesty.

In such a parent-child scenario, do you think there will be any chance of negotiating a win-win situation?

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Something I would like to share. The part that came to my mind in relation to my above situation was the "People VS Thing".